Back where we belong

Why do I get to be so damn happy? I love life. I'm young, intelligent, self-confident, I have four gorgeous best friends who I practically live with, and as far as romance goes-let's just say I've got the best Valentine a girl could ask for. I feel like I've got all that I want in life, which is the most satisfying sensation I've ever experienced.

Could college get any better?

Mondays rock because I get to play with makeup and have class with Jordan.

Tuesdays rock because I get to talk about saving the planet and learn about costume design.

Wednesdays rock because I start my mornings with Liz and end my days with Jordan.

Thursdays are okay....

Fridays rock because I have on class at it is at 1 O'clock.

I love my life.

I'm a very happy girl.

Every Night

For the past couple of weeks I've been listening to Robin Thicke's new album "Something Else" as a go to sleep. I used to associate him with my ex because he sang our song (Angel), but now I just associate him with comfort and safety, which is really nice. His voice is so soothing, check him out.

Fresh Start

There are some good things left in Chicago that I'm going to miss, but I am SO ready to go back to Chambana. I miss my four best friends, I miss Late Night, I miss everything that I thought I wouldn't miss! I even miss Krannert...don't know how that happened! I never thought I would say it, but I am just so ready to get out of Chicago!

She's Gone

Ninety-nine year old Christine Mullowney passed at 6:00 P.M. last night, January 5th, 2009. 

Rest in Peace Grama. We'll always have tea-time.

Phone Call

I got the same phone call I got 6 months ago today. "We think your Grandma is going to die very soon". Don't even know what to say. She's 99. Yes, 99 years young. When they shined the light in her eyes, there was no response. Apparently her body is beginning to shut down. But my Grama is the most stubborn woman I know. If she doesn't want to go, she won't!

The girl who made a career out of her nervous habits....

I think I should be an interior decorator. I rearranged my room again today. Although, I never feel satisfied with it. I think it might be because my walls are filled with writing and drawings, and there is a maze on my ceiling. I'm constantly surrounded by my past (notes from ex boyfriends, ex friends, memories from seasons past), and I've decided that I am going to cover them up and move on with my life. Sure, I can always re-visit them. However, I'm frankly sick of looking at "Jimmy has bad handwriting, and he is cool", with "is cool" crossed off and replaced with "sucks". This is just one of the things I stare at as I fall asleep. A lot of which are from this past summer, which I love and regret revisiting so many times.  I need to move on.

Although I'm striving so hard to make a new chapter in my life I keep flipping back to pages I've already read

. That's why I covered up the first wall today. Felt good. 

New year

Two-thousand-and-eight was crazy. There were so many firsts, I lost my grandma, went away to college, experienced falling in (and out of) love,. I wonder what next year will bring. 

Life feels so strange right now, I have had such rhythm and familiarity in the past year and recently everything feels chaotic and scary. My resolution is to feel safe on my own and  be independent. Every time I try, I  feel even more vulnerable.

I miss feeling safe.